Fear is a feeling that we all experience at some point in our lives and it can stop us from doing things and make us feel nervous. So, where does fear come from, at what point Should You Consider Therapy for Fear? and how can we deal with it so it doesn’t control our lives? In this article I have broken down what fear is, why it happens and how you can manage it better.
So what Is Fear ?
Fear is a natural reaction that is built into our brains to keep us safe. Let me expand this further. When we feel like we’re in danger, our brain sends signals to our body to either fight or run away from the threat. This is what we call the “fight-or-flight” response. Fear is helpful when there’s real danger. However, it can also show up when there isn’t an actual threat and that’s when it becomes a problem. Fear can stop us from doing things we need or want to do such as applying for a new job, trying something new or even speaking up in a group.
Here is why You Feel Fear
1.Your Past Experiences
Sometimes fear is learned. If something bad happened in your past, you might feel scared the next time you face a similar situation. Let me expand this so that you may understand this statement. For example if you were involved in a car accident, you might feel scared every time you drive even if you’re in a safe situation.
2.What The Society Tells You
Many of the fears we have come from what society teaches us. We learn to fear failure, judgement or standing out from the crowd. We’re often taught that making mistakes is bad which makes us afraid to take risks or try new things.
3.Your Biology
Some people are more likely to feel fear than others. This can be due to the way their brains are wired or even because of family traits. If anxiety or fear runs in your family, you might find yourself feeling fearful more often.
Here is How Fear Affects You
Fear doesn’t just affect how you feel it can also affect your body. When you are afraid, your heart might beat faster, breathe quickly and your muscles might tense up. If you live with fear for a long time it can lead to stress, anxiety and even health problems.
So How Can You Manage Your Fear?
1.Recognize Your Fear
The first step to managing fear is to admit that you’re feeling it. Don’t try to ignore it or pretend it’s not there. By acknowledging it, you take the first step toward controlling it. I always say this to my clients “Everyone feels fear and it’s okay to admit that you’re scared regardless of gender”.
2.Challenge Your Thoughts
Fear often comes from our thoughts running wild. We imagine the worst-case scenario even if it’s not likely to happen. Next time you feel fear ask yourself, “Is this fear realistic? What’s the worst that could actually happen?” Often, the worst case isn’t as bad as we imagine.
3.Face Your Fear Gradually
One of the best ways to overcome fear is to face it slowly. Start small. If you’re scared of speaking in public, start by talking in front of a small group of friends then gradually increase the number of people. Remember this “The more you face your fear, the less power it will have over you.”
4.Practise Deep Breathing
Fear often makes us breathe quickly which increases the feeling of panic. Try deep breathing exercises to calm your body. Breathe in slowly, hold it for a moment and then breathe out. I know you have tried it right? How did that make you feel? This will help you feel more in control and reduce the physical symptoms of fear.
5.Talk to A Professional
If fear is taking over your life, it’s a good idea to talk to a professional. Therapists can help you understand your fear and give you tools to manage it better. You don’t have to go through it alone.
When Should You Consider Therapy for Fear?
- If any of these sound familiar, it may be a good idea to reach out to a therapist. Therapy provides a safe space to explore the roots of your fear and develop strategies to manage it so you can live a happier, more balanced life.
- If your fear is stopping you from doing things you need to do like going to work, attending social events or taking care of responsibilities.
- If you’re constantly avoiding certain situations or places because of fear such as public spaces, social gatherings or even simple activities like driving.
- If fear and anxiety are present even when there is no clear reason for it or you feel tense and nervous for long periods.
- Chronic physical symptoms like a racing heart, difficulty breathing, dizziness or sweating when there is no real danger.
- If fear is causing conflict with friends, family /partners or if it’s making it hard to connect with others.